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He had knife. Gun trumps knife.
Homemade Gluten Free Recipes and Whimsical Writings.

He had knife. Gun trumps knife.

I will say that there is an awful lot out there of which to make fun when it comes to people’s driving habits. I generally keep up a running commentary while in the car. Today had to be the best, though.
Child #2 and I were grocery shopping a few towns over. We were in a hurry to get back to pick up Child #4 from school. I was trying to turn left into the end of a parking lot so I could wiggle through to the exit with the light. I finally realized what the hold up was. The SUV in front of me in line had hit the transit bus in front of him!
So my question is: how do you miss a bus? Seriously?

When I was a little girl, my dad made up new lyrics for “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” It became an instant classic in our house. It went like this:
We wish you a jingle jolly;
We wish you a hot tamale!
We wish you an enchilada;
And a taco or two!
An absolute classic and the best way to introduce my topic/recipe for today. You guessed it; we’re cooking Mexican food!
THE STORY
My paternal grandmother (my dad’s mom) was an interesting character. She was born in southern Texas, the only daughter of a wealthy silver miner. She had 18 brothers and was more than a little spoiled. Her mother did nothing but produce heirs; she had servants to care for her children and even nurse them!

So, my paternal grandfather, a laborer, convinced her brothers (as her father had already passed away) that he had a house in Chicago and would provide for her. So they allowed her to marry him at the tender age of sixteen! So off they went to Chicago.
My grandmother was not pleased to find that “his” house was occupied by her new husband’s mother and a few brothers! This was not her idea, especially when her new mother-in-law treated her the way her parents never had; as a servant!
So, grandmother got a secretarial job at a church and rented an apartment. She then told my grandfather that he could come with her or stay with his mother, but that she was moving! Yeah. My grandmother was one gutsy lady! What she couldn’t figure out, though, was how to cook like she was used to. Her mother-in-law was Native American, and her food was not the same as the food back home.
Eventually she noticed two ladies in a close apartment that cooked food to which she could identify. It was from these two ladies that she learned to cook…and cook she did! Her tamales were legendary! I remember the smells from her kitchen as a little girl. They remind me of Mexican restaurants I have since visited.
When my grandmother died it was the Summer after my eighth grade graduation. I thought her recipe had died with her. I was wrong. My aunt had it. I only ate the tamales once from my aunt, as when I was a child we were always provided with peanut butter and jelly as the more palatable children’s option, but they were terrific. Then my aunt passed away.
I was devastated. My father had gone down to his mother’s house to write down the steps while she cooked her famous tamales, but the recipe was far from complete. After my dad passed away, I decided to give it a shot. I used what I had of my grandmother’s recipe (from my dad) and another recipe I found on the package of cornhusks I had bought. When I had the meat mixed with the spices, the tamales didn’t taste right. I decided to add salsa. I know it’s not traditional, but it worked. It resulted in this recipe: Rita’s Tasty Tamales.
THE FILLING
4 – 5 lbs. leftover turkey, chicken, or pork
1 1/2 Tbsp. ancho chili powder
1 Tbsp. granulated garlic
2 Tbsp. minced garlic
2 Tbsp. salt
2 Tbsp. black pepper
4 Tbsp. cumin powder
1 tsp. dried oregano
1 Tbsp. granulated onion
1 3/4 cups medium salsa
CORN HUSKS
6 oz. package of corn husks
kitchen string (or crochet cotton) for tying tamales
MASA BREADING
2 sticks butter, softened
1 cup coconut oil
6 cups masa flour
6 cups water
1 Tbsp. granulated onion
1 Tbsp. granulated garlic
1 Tbsp. chili powder
1 Tbsp. cumin powder
1 Tbsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 willing assistant (or child you have bribed into helping!)
NIGHT BEFORE – Meat Filling
Pull apart (or grind in a meat grinder on the largest setting) your meat. Add the spices into the filling and mix well with your impeccably clean hands. Mix in the salsa and stick the mixture in your refrigerator to let the flavors meld.
MORNING
Set the corn husks soaking in a container of warm water and weigh down with a few water-proof heavy objects, as they tend to float. These need as many hours as they can get in the water, but at least two!
THE POT
Tamales need to steam to cook. There is water involved, but the tamales shouldn’t be sitting in it; they should be sitting above it. You can use a pot that has a special pot with holes in it that goes inside the first pot, or you can place a metal strainer above your pot of boiling water and put a lid over it to form your own steamer. Also, during your hour of steaming, make sure that your pot does not run dry. Trust me, it does not make a pretty smell!
TWO HOURS BEFORE YOU WANT TO EAT – Masa Breading
Place your softened butter and coconut oil in your mixer and beat until fluffy. Add all the rest of the ingredients of the masa breading and blend well.
Take one of your soaked corn husks and let the excess water drip off. Place on a plate and gently spread one to two tablespoons masa mixture onto the bottom right corner, leaving about 1/2 an inch at the very bottom to fold up. Put meat filling down the center. Gently bring the top and bottom of the corn husk over the filling and wrap across so that no filling or masa is showing. Have your assistant tie with the kitchen string into a double knot (or a bow if you or your assistant is feeling fancy!!!) Place tamale #1 in a pot with a steamer basket and start on tamale #2. Continue until you have used all of the corn husks, masa, and meat mixture (or you are too tired to care and vowing never to make this mess again!!!) Steam tamales for 1 hour or until masa is done to your liking. Refrigerate some of your leftovers and put others in the freezer for another day. Make sure to test them out first, though! Yum! Here’s to you, grandma!

What is it you dreamed of when you were a child? Did you wish to be an astronaut? A dancer? A painter? A doctor, perhaps? Or maybe a parent? I was thinking about this today, as my oldest is struggling some with life choices. She is working at a fast food restaurant, yet she is an extremely talented violist. Why?
Well, first, she has trouble with her back. Some of the damage was from her abusive father, which left her with a slight curvature of the spine. The rest of the damage was done in a car accident about four years ago, when her side of the vehicle was hit by a person running a red light. She gave up her dreams of viola performance. It was a dark time for both of us.
Now, though her back is definitely more healed, she has little time in her life for what was once a great love. She is so focused on what was lost, whether taken from her or given up that she can’t see straight. It’s disheartening to watch.
I try to tell her how much God loves her and only wants what is best for her, but she shuts me down at every turn. So very sad.
She always wanted to perform with her viola for a living; a dream I did everything in my power to encourage. When her father wanted us to move out West where we knew no one, I said “Absolutely not!” Why? There were no great viola teachers within 300 miles! No way I would do that to her after so many years of hard work! My ex was livid but I stood my ground.
So where did all those dreams go now? I don’t know, but I hope they are still in there. What a waste to dismiss a gift that God has so clearly given; a gift that has been developing since she was four years old! If only she could see it!

Please pray for another of my babies who is having some mental health concerns.
Thank you and God bless,
Rita

As a child, I was always jealous that my grandma would bake Christmas cookies with only one of my cousins. There were actually three of us cousins that lived close enough to participate, but it was only Diane with whom she shared that special day. My sister and I were left out. We did have two other cousins who were the right age, but they did not celebrate Christmas and so were generally left out of holiday celebrations. We would never see them at gatherings unless it was for New Year’s Day or something else “non-religious” as their father thought we were all pagans. I don’t think I have time to unpack that right now, so moving on…
One of our favorite Christmas cookies was the Betty Crocker Chocolate Crinkle recipe. When I found out that I had celiac disease, it became a challenge to me to convert my favorite Christmas cookies to gluten-free ones. So, here is my take on this chocolate treat!
Chocolate Crinkles (Adapted from the Betty Crocker Cookie Cookbook)
1/2 cup canola oil
4 squares unsweetened chocolate (4 oz.,) melted and cooled*
2 cups granulated sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups brown rice flour
1 1/2 cups white rice flour
1/2 cup corn starch
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 Tbsp. xanthan gum
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup confectioner’s sugar (for rolling)
Directions:
Preheat oven to 350° F. Mix oil, chocolate, and granulated sugar. Blend in one egg at a time until well mixed. Add vanilla. Add flours, starches, xanthan gum, baking powder, and salt into oil mixture.
Drop teaspoonfuls of dough into confectioner’s sugar. Roll in sugar and shape into balls. Place about 2″ apart on parchment-lined baking sheet. Bake 10 – 12 minutes. Do not overbake! Makes about 6 dozen cookies. Enjoy!
* If you do not have unsweetened chocolate squares, you can substitute with 12 Tbsp. cocoa powder + 4 tsp. hard butter or margarine. Melt in a microwave-safe bowl for about two minutes, stirring every 30 seconds until melted, or in a double-boiler, stirring frequently until melted.


“Come with me,” he hissed menacingly.

This last few weeks I have been giving a lot of thought to pie. Well, more accurately, pie crust. Do you ever find your mind straying to pie crust? Well, mine did!
The problem with pie crust is finding a good gluten free recipe for one. Yes, I am aware that the stores sell pre-made crusts. No, I would rather not consume one of those over-priced, bland, dry creations. Maybe I’m a pie crust snob. Very possibly. However, being a long-time baker, I have made many a pie crust. I have, though, not found a good way to make a homemade crust that’s gluten free.
So, taking matters into my gluten-free-floured hands, I purchased two pie crust mixes. The first was Bob’s Red Mill and the second was Cup 4 Cup.


I thought I still had the package from the Bob’s Red Mill pie crust mix that I made, but I can’t seem to find it, so you will have to settle for the following picture.

Any winners? I had some reservations regarding pie crust mixes to start with, but I persevered. I am used to mixing my own pie crust with flours, butter-flavored Crisco, etc. so a mix seems like something of a cop-out to me, but I bit the bullet and dove in!
The first one I made was the Cup 4 Cup. I was disappointed in how sticky the dough was. It took two scrubbings and quite a bit of soap to get my hands clean. I put the discs of pie crust in the fridge, as was recommended, but when I rolled them out a few days later, they stuck and broke and were basically a nightmare.
When the pie was done, and I admittedly only made the bottom crust and put a crumble on the top, it seemed soggy. It was, in fact, soggy and salty. Very unpleasant.
The second pie crust I made was the Bob’s Red Mill pie crust. It was different from the start. It didn’t stick to me and I was able to wash my hands normally afterward. The taste was better too. It was a little soft the first night that the pie was made, but the second day it was much better.
The clear winner here was Bob’s Red Mill Gluten Free Pie Crust Mix. If you don’t have time to make it from scratch, this pie crust will do nicely. Happy pie-making!

There are times in our lives that we sit back and take stock. June 6, 2015 and the months that followed were a time of deep stock-taking for me and my family.
The day started out like many others, a beautiful, sunny Saturday. We we’re headed to a quincinera party; the first any of us had ever attended. It was for my now ex-husband’s second cousin. We never made it.
While traveling to the party, we had an accident. A lady turned left in front of us and a collision was not avoided. Our minivan hit the rear part of her car and crumpled. Unfortunately, it crumpled in on me, as I was in the passenger seat.
My right knee hit the dashboard and cracked in half, sending a shock up my leg to break my right hip. I had no idea of any of this at the time, and just wanted to straighten my leg, which was now cramped in the crumpled vehicle. Big mistake. It popped and agony shot through me.
The ambulance ride and my burned face from the airbag exploding it’s tiny particles all over me are just a bad memory now. I had to wait a week for the doctors at a well-known hospital to fix the hip, as they weren’t sure my heart would survive. Finally, they had no choice. The pain was unimaginable; worse than childbirth, if you can imagine, but the part I hated most was not being able to care for myself.
Not only could I no longer walk, I couldn’t even clean myself up after pottying! It was humiliating! First, bed pans are NOT glamorous. Second, cute, young male nurses just added to the embarrassment. They were very sweet and told me that they handled that all the time, but it was difficult for me to have to hand over my pride and independence like that. It was also good for me.
My knee, thank God, lined up perfectly when the hospital put it in an immobilizer, and thus didn’t need any other help. The hip was the worst of it.
Slowly, I regained my strength and was transferred to a nursing home much closer to home. The hospital where I was taken was about an hour and a half to two hours away from home, so the nursing home was a relief. I could see my kids!

It was a terribly slow process, and I’ll admit to being completely jealous of people who had the ability to walk, but eventually I made it home. On August 10, over two months since I left my house, I was able to return. I wasn’t steady or walking unencumbered, but I was home.

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The events of that time had many repercussions, including my oldest’s suicide plan and the crumbling of my marriage when I truly woke up to what I had married. But, above all, God is good. He led me and guided me in ways I had no idea I would ever need.
So, for what am I thankful this Thanksgiving? The ability to walk! And of course my family and friends, of whom you are a part. Happy Thanksgiving, friends. For what are you truly thankful?


Generally, here in the USA, we celebrate the holiday of Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November. Some of us use this holiday to give thanks for all the blessings that we have. Others use the holiday as a pathway to Christmas. This saddens me, as I think it is important to give thanks and praise to God, from whom all blessings flow!
Be that as it is, what I wanted to talk about today was the food that we are planning to make on Thursday. First and foremost, there’s the turkey. We have started brining the turkey in 1 cup of freshly squeezed (and then frozen) lemon juice, 1 Tbsp. pink sea salt and enough water to fill your container. We have ours in a cooler that we can move to the deck to keep cool (chilly weather here in the Midwest!) After the turkey is done brining, we will butter it with lemon-flavored butter and roast it in a paper grocery bag (closed on the end with staples!) for around three hours, depending on how big your bird is! Ours is on the smaller side, as there are only five of us this year, a relatively small gathering.
I am also working with two different piecrust mixes and will be doing a comparison soon for you. I have made some berry – peach filling for the piecrusts. Too yummy!
So, aside from the turkey we will also be having stuffing, mashed potatoes, veggies, and store bought rolls. Sounds good, doesn’t it? I can’t wait! Stay tuned for more…
Also, let me know in the comments below how you will be spending Thanksgiving, or if you don’t celebrate it, what will you be doing? For what are you thankful?
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