What Do You Want Out of Life?

Child #1 with her grandpa when she wasn’t practicing.

What is it you dreamed of when you were a child? Did you wish to be an astronaut? A dancer? A painter? A doctor, perhaps? Or maybe a parent? I was thinking about this today, as my oldest is struggling some with life choices. She is working at a fast food restaurant, yet she is an extremely talented violist. Why?

Well, first, she has trouble with her back. Some of the damage was from her abusive father, which left her with a slight curvature of the spine. The rest of the damage was done in a car accident about four years ago, when her side of the vehicle was hit by a person running a red light. She gave up her dreams of viola performance. It was a dark time for both of us.

Now, though her back is definitely more healed, she has little time in her life for what was once a great love. She is so focused on what was lost, whether taken from her or given up that she can’t see straight. It’s disheartening to watch.

I try to tell her how much God loves her and only wants what is best for her, but she shuts me down at every turn. So very sad.

She always wanted to perform with her viola for a living; a dream I did everything in my power to encourage. When her father wanted us to move out West where we knew no one, I said “Absolutely not!” Why? There were no great viola teachers within 300 miles! No way I would do that to her after so many years of hard work! My ex was livid but I stood my ground.

So where did all those dreams go now? I don’t know, but I hope they are still in there. What a waste to dismiss a gift that God has so clearly given; a gift that has been developing since she was four years old! If only she could see it!

Published by Rita

I am a single mother, a Christian, a writer, an abuse survivor, a reader, and a friend. I've wanted to be a writer my entire life and now here I am!

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