I Have Struggled…with My Children

Ah, yes, children! They can bring such joy…but also so much pain. I love each with my whole heart. Mostly they love me back. Sometimes not.

Child #3 and I have been on a rough road for long time. He has been through much trauma and many, many changes. I have been there through it all.

Our latest discord has been building for at least a couple of years now. He proudly told me one day that he is an atheist. Ok. Did you expect me not to love you? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times…You Cannot Make Me Stop Loving You!!!!

Could I be disappointed? Yes. Could I be angry? Undoubtedly. Could I hate you? Never! It is not in the mom job description and certainly not in my heart!

So, you believe however you believe, and I’ll believe how I believe. This led to him not attending Mass. I was told I should not give him the option, an opinion I did not share. If I force him, why on earth would he want to go of his own accord? So I waited and prayed.

Last Sunday the thought came into my head to have all the kids watch “The Case for Christ,” which I had rented from the library and enjoyed watching. I had to leave no other option, and all three of the kiddos that are with me sat down with me that afternoon and watched.

The movie starts with a newsman from the nearby Chicago Tribune setting off to prove that the whole Christian religion is a farce. It’s not real. It’s dangerous. To me,a believer, this is preposterous. For Child #3 it was just what he needed. All the research that went into his work was incredible. Was he a jerk to his wife, among others? Absolutely. In fact, coming from an abusive marriage,some scenes were difficult to watch.

I hung in there, and so did the kids (not that I gave them a choice! Sometimes you just have to teach them!) Anyway, it was fascinating and even better my second time. The facts and the evidence…it was amazing! I highly recommend it. There is also a book I’m keen to get my hands on, but did not find it today in my sojourn. I did, however, find another book by Lee Strobel, which seems to be the sequel. Yay!

Children #’s 2 & 4 were practically bored, saying they already knew all of this from their classes either with Monsignor or from their own study. Child #3, however,left the living room after the movie with hardly a word. Just a cryptic word about coming to his room to see what he thought. Okaaaay.

So, into child #3’s room I went. He was lying facedown on him bed and crying. What??? His words broke my heart, but not down the center, but rather opened it up. He said he was sorry for all he had put me through and that he thought he wanted to be a Christian.

I was pretty gobsmacked. I mean, this is my absolutely dyed in the wool atheist. Although, I will say that in times of trouble he would look to God. This was only, according to him, because it’s what I believed so strongly. You’re right. I do. However, he didn’t.

So, I told him that since he’s practically an adult, he had to make his own decision. Of course, I would be thrilled to have him come back to Mass and everyone who loves him there, and yes, they do love him. They may not have all the politically correct words, but the love is real! However, that had to be his decision. “I don’t want anyone thinking that I’m forcing my religion on you,” I told him. This has been his refrain for the past couple of years.

Not sure who exactly thinks I’m forcing my religion on him, but does it really matter? Of course I want to share God’s love with him! He,of all people, needs to know that he is so recklessly loved by God! Things have been better. Not perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination, but better. For now that is enough.

So,if you would say an extra prayer for our family, I would very much appreciate it. In addition, I might finally be able to get Pedro (Hector’s replacement) soon, though I am a little short of cash,so prayers for that would be wonderful! Love you all and pray the best for you!