Frustration

Yup, tears. That’s right. It was that kind of day.

I had a very bad day today.  I was going to write about the dinner I cooked tonight, but that will have to wait until Thursday.  I need to vent!

You may or may not know that children #’s 2, 3, 4 and I are currently homeless. We are living in a shelter. I am filling out mounds of paperwork trying to secure a place to live for the next year. It is scary and frustrating, not to mention depressing. All of this while crammed in a small room with three of my kiddos.

Oh how I long for this!

Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful to have a roof over our heads, a safe place to be, and the hope (however slight my depression tells me it is) of finding an apartment or house to rent. And yes, our three emotional support pups are with us too! It’s just so overwhelming.

Then today my speedometer decided it was done. Um… excuse me? How am I supposed to figure out how fast and/or slow I’m going? Great. Not only that, but my odometer crapped out as well! Seriously? I stopped in at my friendly neighborhood auto store, where they told me my car had 11 codes being set. However, since some of them repeated, it might only be 7! I’m like “Only 7! Well, hot dang! My car’s gonna run forever!!!”

Going nowhere…

Next, I stopped to pick up my mail and found that I had a letter from the court regarding checking my assets for child support. Seriously? I’m freaking homeless and he’s worried because he might be paying too much child support? How does he live with himself? 😡!

So, what to do? Well, first, I wrote some song lyrics. At least I think that’s what they’ll turn out to be. And then I had a stern talking to with God. So frustrated to love Him and serve Him and get shat on at every turn! 😡!

Where to from here? Prayers, my friends. Prayers. When it comes right down to it, I’d rather suffer for God and know where I’m headed at the end of this life, than get caught up in the greed and sin of this world and head the wrong way when I’m done. Wouldn’t you?

Please pray for me and my family!

Published by Rita

I am a single mother, a Christian, a writer, an abuse survivor, a reader, and a friend. I've wanted to be a writer my entire life and now here I am!

2 thoughts on “Frustration

  1. I’m so sorry to hear that things are pouring right now. All I can offer is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Your path is changing, it will work out. Things are being worked out on your behalf behind the scenes, they just haven’t made themselves visible to you yet.

    What helped my mental health was to shift from praying about all my troubles and asking in detail for help with each one, to just trusting that God knows about ALL of our struggles, and instead just praying prayers of thanks for each blessing of the day.

    This shift in the focus of prayers isn’t how churches teach us to pray, but it refocused praying about all the negatives and shifts out thoughts to the positives.

    This shift is so much better for our mental health. Just trusting that God has our backs and already knows every single one of our troubles is a HUGE relief! We already know that so praying fervently about all our troubles only puts our minds in a place that we don’t really trust, that God and his legion of Angels need reminding!

    Praying prayers of thanks instead is such a release! I felt so much weight being lifted from my shoulders.

    You have so much going on right now, you need the mental release. This isn’t about ignoring the problems. It’s about releasing the worry about them, for fervently praying about our problems actually stirs the mind to worry about them and to dwell on them even more.

    When I started to just pray prayers of thanks, even for the smallest things, the bandwidth that opened in my spirit allowed me to find more strength than I knew I had to work on solutions which were presented to me.

    I’m very thankful that you have a blog, an outlet to share and to reach out. I’m very grateful you and your family do have a roof over your heads, this is a stepping stone for you guys. I’m grateful that you guys have a little bit of food security, have access to AC now and even heat layer, that you guys have access to showers and laundry.

    “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.” — Franklin D. Roosevelt

    Hang on. You are loved. You have legions working things out for you.

    Like

  2. Thank you! Some days it’s hard to be positive. I am thankful for all of the blessings, and usually I focus on them, but Tuesday was just too much! Thankfully, the car has decided to work again (yay!) and I am feeling less stressed. Whew!

    Like

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